Spring is here. This means that my mind has turned to gardening and outdoor activities.
I have tomatoes started again this year. Every year I begin tomato seeds only to have 90% them fail in some way and I have to go to the greenhouse to buy some. I don't know why I continue trying. There is just something inside of me that believes that one year it is going to click and I'll do well with them. A few struggling plants make it each year despite my inexperience and those few help keep the idea and hope alive that I will eventually succeed.
I guess that this is the way it is with most things in life. You begin with great ideas and dreams but the majority of them don't work either through your own inexperience or outside influence. However, there are those moments when something goes right and it gives you that glimmer of hope that you can do things well and as a result, you end up with the spark inside to keep trying new things.
Over the years I have had a great number of things that I have pursued as hobbies or interests. I'm the type that enjoys collecting things or feeling as if I am an insider in a group of similarly enthusiastic fans of some obscure show, idea, or thing. Though my enthusiasm for these things wanes with time, there is still a little part of me that perks up when I run across a reminder of those times.
I don't have to be the best at everything. I don't have to have the largest collection of any item. I just like the pursuit of learning about something and expressing my interest or passion for it.
My husband says I can be obsessive over a new thing when I first run across it and start learning about it. He is right. But that makes me happy to still be able to get excited about something new and who knows, maybe one day one of these new things will lead to a lifelong passion that I can excel at and share with others.